I wanna C aS U
by Kerry the Berry
Summary: This is my first Rocky fanfiction story ever. It connects the ONE Bavarian party, a very common and old-fashioned party by the name of CSU with our beloved planet Transsexual in the galaxy of Transylvania. Appearing characters include: Frank N. Furter etc


Edmond Shtoyba - A Cee aS yoU inhabitant and president of this planet. He's in his fifties, likes wearing green rural suits and enjoys drinking beer. Grey-haired and wearing glasses. He's into morality and order in all kind of things. Doesn't accept free-thinkers or people who are not into money-making, morality and male-domination just like him. 

Misses Shtoyba - Edmond's wife. Also in her fifties. Bound to the kitchen, the kids and the church. 

Short Snider - His name tells an awful lot about his height. He's a small guy with a vision. He dreams of the Cee aS yoU as ruler in the whole galaxy of Transylvania.

The Old Queen - Frank's mother and president of Transsexual. 

Frank - We all know who Frank is. :-) He's just around 5 years younger (maybe 25) but the rest is the same. *g*

Soldiers, guards, servants.

Scene 1:

On a planet called C aS U in the galaxy of Transylvania not far away from our beloved planet Transexual.   
It's Springtime. We can see a green meadow with joyously flying hummingbirds, butterflies and bees.   
Some of them fly at the colourful blooming flowers, sit down on them and taste their delicious honey. In the distance we can hear a whistled melody. Everything seems to be peaceful and nice.   
All of a sudden a group of 3 people step into the scene: they hit and bash at the hummingbirds, butterflies and bees until there's total silence. They open up their picnic bag and roll out a black cloth. All the flowers are gone now...

Edmond Shtoyba: "And he said it wasn't going to be a picnic...haha!"

His wife sits down beside him and gets out the forks and knives. She looks not as pleased as the others do. 

Short Snider: "Yeah, maybe he thought the storm-clouds from yesterday would spoil our first free day since weeks.   
But they didn't and I'm so awfully glad that we got such a nice spring weather today."

Misses Shtoyba: "But we're here to do business, at least you are."

Edmond: "We know we know...what should we do about this neighbour planet of ours, what was it's name...Trans....Transfo....Trano..."

Short Snider: "Transsexual, Sir. What a disgusting name..."

Misses Shtoyba: "You're right. But that's not the only thing I hate about it.   
The people there are so decadent you can't cross the street without being undressed in their minds.   
And I've been there..."

Short Snider: "Oh my dear Misses Shtoyba it must have been horrible for you..."

Edmond: "Not only for her..."

Short Snider: "Ah well, anyway let's go on...I as the secretary of the state must demand further actions against that rotten planet. We should force them to become normal..."

Edmond: "It's our task to rescue that planet. Unfortunately they turned away all of my offers...and I haven't given them only a few....no, not only a few, I've given them lots and lots of offers.   
But now I see no other way than going to war against Transsexual. I even begin feeling sick after I've only pronounced that name."

Short Snider: "Going to war? Against Transsexual?"

Short Snider eyeballs Misses Shtoyba, she seemingly enjoys the idea of war. She picks up a strawberry and places it into Edmond's mouth. 

  
Scene 2:

An escort of spaceships is flying straight to the planet Transexual. They land and find themselves in eternal night. Most of them landed on a shore. The wide ocean is black, blacker than anything.  
The sand glitters in an adorable black colour. We see persons getting out of their spaceships, 5 out of each of them.   
They are wearing strange green suits and a hat with a brush. Looks a bit Bavarian, just in case you know what that looks like.  
In the background we can spot Edmond Shtoyba with his friend and collegue Short Snider.   
It looks like they'd be surprised that the oceans on Transexual are black, as are the sands. 

One strange looking soldier to another: "Guess we'd better wipe all of the Furter's family out."

The other soldier replies: "I heard that there's just one more...rumour has it that the Big Furter may have a son called Frank but I'm not so sure about that. Aw, but we'll see!!!"

"And then we'll act..." the other adds before they head forward into the bright blackness surrounding them.

  
Scene 3

  
Meanwhile inside the Old Queen's castle. 

A very large but yet gaunt butler enters the Old Queen's sleeping room. He changes the black flowers standing next to her extra large pink bed and wakes her up.   
The Old Queen, still half asleep looks a bit artificial with all of her heavy eye make-up and chalk white foundation. But even in bed she's still a real lady. She slowly opens her greenish eyes, looks out of the window and says:   
"What a wonderful day this is going to be...oh, I can almost feel these little black shining moon sparkles dancing up and down my skin...what are you waiting for? GET ME THE BREAKFAST AND MAKE IT QUICK!"

The butler immediately leaves the room. 

  
Scene 4

Some moments later, outside the castle. The mob gets ready to storm the building.   
They're lined up now and gather from all directions. Some of them enter the castle by breaking down the front doors, others try climbing the walls to make their ways up to the balconies. Some of them fall with a loud cry, some of them seam to be able to reach their destination without great physical effort...

Scene 5

The Old Queen's sleeping room. The breakfast is made and the Old Queen seemingly likes what her butler just brought in on a golden tablet. The Old Queen can't drop her first meal as fast as the window breaks and someone jumps on her bed.   
The soldier, a bit shocked to see the Old Queen stares at her for a moment while the Old Queen gazes at him. 

Old Queen: "GUARDS!!!" 

The soldier walks off the bed, takes two steps back and loads his weapon which looks a bit like a bazooka. 

Soldier: "Shut up now or I'll have to kill you."

Old Queen: "GUARDS!!!"

The soldier, still a bit green behind his ears doesn't know what to do next.   
He looks at the broken glass, then at the window frame, at the Old Queen and then at the door.   
The guards enter in that very moment and shoot the boy. He falls down and ends up lying on his back, arms and legs stretched aside. With that ghastly grimace of death on his young face he's truly not a nice sight at all. 

The Old Queen gets out of her bed, now we can see her wonderful black lingerie for the first time, and the guards take her outside to avoid her having to look at the dead man. Short after the Old Queen has left the room another 5 soldiers enter. The first thing they notice is their dead comrade. They stand back in silence and look at his shocked face. Fear and anger starts flickering in their eyes and they step over their companion to continue their quest for the Furters. 

Scene 6

All the guards and all servants have now entered a secret panic room. The Old Queen is there too.   
She's with her son Frank and weeps. Frank is around 25 years or so and looks very feminine in his black lace attire.   
His black hair glitters and he's wearing a white pearl choker. In his hand he holds a little silver tazer. 

Frank: "Everything's gonna be alright, mum. They can't hurt us now..."

The Old Queen is still weeping, the guards are monitoring the locked front door of the room.   
Suddenly there's a big explosion and the door crashes down furiously. 

The Old Queen: "Frank, stay here! They will protect us."

But Frank's already running towards the aggressors. All the guards do so too.   
They shoot and there's a great confusion in which the Old Queen is able to flee out of the panic room into another room.   
Frank and the guards fight the intruder's successfully. All of the Shtoyba's servicemen are lying on the golden carpet now.   
The guards drag them away and Frank is grinning widely. He follows them inside a dark room. 

Scene 7

Inside a dungeon. We can see soldiers in chains everywhere. Some of them seem to be asleep others are just plain scared.   
In the centre of this eerie dungeon stands a laughing Old Queen and her son's just "playing" with one of their prisoners.   
This prisoner is chained on the wall, legs and arms wide spread.   
Frank runs down his face, the prisoner is screaming loudly. His cheeks twitch with disgust and a very mean anticipation. Frank goes further down that guys body....he tickles him and tries to remove his shirt...Frank tears it down and is happily surprised that that guy has a very beautiful hairy chest. 

Frank: "Woah, here we go! I wonder if you all look that gorgeous. Come on, let me tease you..."

Soldier: "NOOO! HELP!!! Stop it now! Stop it! Please! Frank!"

Frank: "It's so nice to hear people screaming my name..."

Frank kisses the soldier's chest and slowly makes his way down while the Old Queen watches him electrified.....like a voyeur she seems to enjoy that boy's action just as much as he himself does.

The next moment some guards enter and one of them shouts: "Look what we have here."

The Old Queen turns around and looks at the entrance. Her eyes begin to glitter and a slow smile runs through her mask-like face. 

The guards drag Mr. Shtoyba and his right hand Short Snider in. Both are unconscious. 

Old Queen: "Now where did you find them? Aren't they who I think they are?"

One guard says: "Yes, they are. This here is Mr. Shtoyba and that's Short Snider.   
Now it's up to you what you do with them...."

The Old Queen is licking her lips: "I know. They have to know what they were up to here....we couldn't get one single word out of their soldiers I'm afraid. It's a pity that we haven't shot all of them."

Frank, still busy with this little soldier-boy says: "Oh Mummy, don't say such things. Just take a look at these gorgeous men! Maybe they can be brain-washed. Or we just continue playing with them like that."

Old Queen: "Like what?"

Frank places his right knee between this poor soldiers thighs. Yet he seems to be unable to scream his mouth opens in agony and his eyes open up widely. Frank starts to grin.

The guards leave Mr. Shtoyba and Short Snider to the Old Queen. 

  
Scene 8

Short Snider lies tied on a stone altar. Thick leather ropes cover his wrists and legs. The rest is bare.   
He's fully blushed and he's begging for mercy. 

Snider: "No please you can't do that....you know that it is wrong. We just wanted to help you!"

Frank is amused by Short Sniders whining. He grabs his whip up from the wall and walks towards Short Snider.   
Frank looks gorgeous: deep red lips, dark blue eyelids and a heavy silky foundation give his face that sexy flamboyant touch. He's wearing red high heels, pink suspenders, white stockings and a black corset. His dark curly hair glitters. 

Frank approaches Snider with a devilish grin. He gets very close, as close as it gets and he whispers in Sniders ear: "You don't need to help us...we'll help you...."

Frank cracks his whip. Snider's very very afraid. 

Frank: "What is it you wanted to teach us? What is it you wanted to change here? You...you had no right to gatecrash and you had no right to demolish anything at all on our lovely planet."

Snider, silently but firm: "Yes, we had..."

Frank: "What did you say? REPEAT!"

Frank cracks his whip again, now it misses Snider's face only a little and Snider's all afraid again.

Snider shudders but answers: "We had all right to do so. You're nothing but animals....Transsexual has to be destroyed, you're going to far...."

Frank gets mad at him and runs his red fingernails down Snider's left cheek. Snider's bleeding. 

Frank sucks the blood and Snider feels seemingly disgusted by that. 

Frank: "No, you never had....only because we are different than you doesn't mean that we have no right to live our lives the way we want to. If we just let you and your mob go, what would you say?   
Wouldn't it mean that we are generous? Wouldn't it mean that we are full of humility? Or would you still consider us animals?" 

Snider: "I don't know...."

Frank: "Okay, let's find out."

Frank rushes hastily to the table, takes a knife and cuts Snider's bonds. His determined look concentrates on Snider. 

Snider is a bit perplex. He tries to cover all bodyparts that weren't meant for public with his hands and slowly walks away.  
He leaves the room, Frank stays and shakes his head in disbelief. 

  
Scene 9

Short Snider runs through deep black corridors...a pale pink light shines from above the ceiling, he seems to be scared and looks very lost. 

"If only we didn't go to war with these....with these....bastards. If only we could have fought sane persons..." 

Slowly he turns his head noticing a large door to his right. Beautiful ornamental signs give that door a glorious and precious touch. Short Snider stops for a while, thinks and enters....

All we can see now is the stunned face of Snider's. His eyes wide open staring at someone or something inside the room he shudders and takes a step backwards.   
The angle changes so that now we all can see what Snider is so alarmed by.  
It's the Queen's bedroom and inside her bed there isn't only the owner of this sweet little mansion but there also lies a man who's in total ecstasy. 

It's Edmond Shtoyba and he don't gives a damn about Snider's appearance. He goes on sucking at the Queen's neck, then he lustily kisses her half-bare bossom. He slips down the linen and we can hear silent moans. 

The Old Queen: "You must be adaptable, I know Shtoyba is. Woaw!" 

The Old Queen groans in pleasure. 

Snider is too shocked to do anything. He just stares.

The Old Queen: "So now Snider....either you join us right now or you leave. Decide now...." We can see the Queen's legs spreading under the linen. 

Snider tries getting back his voice: "We....we....we are doomed, oh my God. Mister Shtoyba! Dammit, what's going on here!?!"

Edmond Shtoyba whips the linen away and looks at Snider....grinning. 

Shtoyba: "You don't know what you're missing, c'mon don't be shy. There's no need to feel ashamed...."

Snider, petrified: "Oh my God..."

Shtoyba: "Do you know the sentence ´Make love not war`? Does it mean anything at all to you? It never did to me but now it does...*disappearing under the linen again* And I really wanted to fight you, my sweet little pus...."

Before Shtoyba is able to finish his last word, Snider begins to scream out loud, his face has turned dark red and he looks like crying. He leaves now and runs down a long corridor until he reaches a large wooden door.   
He pushes it open and runs to a spaceship, gets in and quickly starts the engine. He vanishes in the deep dark nightsky. 

  
This was the story of two worlds and their interests collide. The consequences resulting from this "collision" are plenty in quantity and high in quality.  
One of these results is me: Kerry U. Furter.   
There are two worlds living and fighting inside me - one is the old-fashioned, moralistic world of Bavaria, the other world throbbing inside me is Transsexual with all its greasy and sinful pleasures. I hope I'll be able to escort you through many other stories like that in the future. 

  



End file.
